This morning I took some time read the scriptures. I wasn't bringing an agenda with me.
Not taking time to study to teach others. Not intentionally reading through books. Just taking time to prayerfully listen to God.
Here is what I found ...
The Lord God has given Me the tongue of disciples,
That I may know how to sustain the weary one with a word.
He awakens Me morning by morning,
He awakens My ear to listen as a disciple.
The Lord God has opened My ear;
And I was not disobedient,
Nor did I turn back.
Thought this was a pretty profound word (Isaiah 50.4-5) and I think it will be my mental chewing gum for the next week and my continual prayer.
On the recovery front ... I've discovered that I hate deep tissue massages! The muscles in my shoulders, neck and upper mid back have been a mess & going to physical therapy means considerably more pain ... not less. At least I know that know and am getting mentally adjusted to that fact.
We are still continually praying with faith that God ... by the power of His word will straighten out the mess in my muscles. 'Til then, I trust and wait.
God is always faithful and good!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Patience
As is with pretty much every spiritual principle, you can't grow by simply learning ... you've got to take what you've learned and put it into practice.
Patience is not one of those things I'd often pray for because to learn patience through experience can be a painful thing ... sometimes, in my case, literally.
I now sit over three weeks removed from surgery and had one of the most painful nights of my life yesterday. In spite of having heavy meds and muscle relaxers, I was ready to cry "uncle" or "mercy" or whatever! I think it was my perseverance (Holly would call it stubbornness) that kept me from going to the ER last night. I was very, very close to breaking.
The good news is the surgical site is healing up well and signs of infection are pretty much cleared up, but I am experiencing a phenomenal amount of acute muscular pain in the back of my neck, shoulders (trap muscle), and in between my shoulder blades. I never knew muscle spasms could be so painful or last so long. It has been about 2 weeks, and last night it came to a head. I had a deep tissue massage on Monday to try to work out some of the muscle cramping, and apparently I wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of that.
I was unable to get in touch with my Dr last night, but got in touch with him this morning and he upped my pain meds and gave me something to help me sleep. Man, can I use that!
Please pray for a couple of things for me over the next couple days ...
1) that I would grow in patience
2) muscle cramping would cease and desist!
3) that meds wouldn't make me so groggy so I will still be able to hear God speaking clearly to me
4) that I will be able to get back to the office, at least a couple hours/day soon. I tried to go on Monday morning (after the massage). I didn't last long and really couldn't focus b/c I was in so much pain.
5) that God would grow my taste buds for eternal things and deaden my taste buds for worldly things that sidetrack me from pursuing God.
Food for thought ...
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
God, please use this journey to refine my hope ... that it would be set squarely on you and not on fleeting worldly stuff!
Finally, praise God for my bride. Holly rocks!!!
Peace.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Eyes to see
Just a quickie update. After talking on the phone with my nurse today, she got me in with the neurosurgeon on call tomorrow afternoon (my dr is on vacation this week).
Last night as I was laying in bed, Holly reminded me about an incident about a week ago which I heard a distinct pop in between my neck and shoulder on the left side followed by intense pain. I had been trying to stretch my left trap muscle in my shoulder b/c it was cramping badly. At that point, I was doing very well in my recovery and that is the moment I can point back to and think that something went wrong.
Since then, I've had very strong pain in my shoulder and upper back and had to get back on hard meds and heavy muscle relaxers. I thought it was just complications with my neck b/c it was intensely painful to get in and out of bed ... even having to manually support my head to get out of bed (just like immediately after having neck surgery).
Please pray for my appointment on Thursday @ 1:30, that God would give Dr. Johns eyes to see what's happening inside my body!
Thank you my friends!!!
Last night as I was laying in bed, Holly reminded me about an incident about a week ago which I heard a distinct pop in between my neck and shoulder on the left side followed by intense pain. I had been trying to stretch my left trap muscle in my shoulder b/c it was cramping badly. At that point, I was doing very well in my recovery and that is the moment I can point back to and think that something went wrong.
Since then, I've had very strong pain in my shoulder and upper back and had to get back on hard meds and heavy muscle relaxers. I thought it was just complications with my neck b/c it was intensely painful to get in and out of bed ... even having to manually support my head to get out of bed (just like immediately after having neck surgery).
Please pray for my appointment on Thursday @ 1:30, that God would give Dr. Johns eyes to see what's happening inside my body!
Thank you my friends!!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
COOL note
Over the last few days, I've been fighting off infection and consistently monitoring my body temperature per doctor's orders.
We've had a large group of people pray specifically that God would keep my body temperature low and regulated. A fever (in conjunction with my elevated white blood cell count) would not have been good news.
As, I've monitored my temp ... it has consistently been 96-97 degrees, topping out at 98.1. I just think it is cool in response to people's prayers that God has kept me cool ... literally!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Rewind
Do you ever wish you could rewind time and go relive specific moments or days of your life?
I've felt like that sometimes today, as I sit 2 weeks removed from surgery.
Last Monday & Tuesday, pain levels were subsiding, I was off hard meds and beginning to feel like myself. It definitely seemed like the worst of the recovery was over.
Thursday through today has been a whole different story.
I visited the Dr on Thursday (first followup after surgery), and I was just beginning to have some intense pain in my shoulders, back of the neck, and upper to mid back. He didn't find that very unusual, except that the surgical site was still significantly swollen.
By Thursday night, the pain level was over my head and Holly called the Dr for help.
Went back in to the Dr office on Friday, then wound up heading down to the hospital for blood tests and a CT scan to check on the swelling. The Dr sent me home with new meds and told me to monitor my body temperature and the swelling in my neck.
Sunday, I briefly got up to the church to see Michael and Josh baptized. Very exciting morning and I'm glad I made it for that, but that was the extent of my outing. Back to the house and back to bed.
Today, the swelling seems to be subsiding in my neck some which the Dr is excited about ... but still no pain relief for my shoulders, neck, and back ... which is what I will be excited about!
So we are waiting ... patiently, as best we know how. I did get up and walk for a few minutes outside which was nice, atleast to clear my head. Haven't been out of bed a whole lot the last few days b/c pretty much every movement is accompanied by sharp pains. Kinda felt like a pregnant lady on bed rest, except that I'm not a lady and I'm not pregnant!
It has been exciting, but tough, to hear the prayers of my kids. I hear, "God please heal daddy's owies so he can pick me up ... so we can wrestle ... so he can tickle me ... etc." It is exciting seeing our kids call out to God, but it makes me sad to hear them verbalize some of the things they miss doing together with me.
I saw Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark today. Pretty gruesome, but interesting seen toward the end when the Germans open the Ark and God's presence goes out from the Ark and slays them. I'm sure that's not what it would look like, but interesting nonetheless to see man's depication of holiness in the midst of unholiness.
I saw Charlie Wilson's War last night. Holly fell asleep halfway through it. I'd have to do some research to find out about how accurate to history that was, but doesn't seem important enough to do so. Wouldn't watch that one again.
I saw 27 Wedding Dresses two days ago (because I love my bride a whole bunch!) Two words - chick flick.
Please continue to pray with us specifically over these issues:
- swelling would completely go away at the surgical site in my neck.
- any infection in my neck would go away
- pain in my shoulders, neck and upper-mid back would go away
- we have eyes that can see & ears that can hear God during this crazy time
Thanks!!!
I've felt like that sometimes today, as I sit 2 weeks removed from surgery.
Last Monday & Tuesday, pain levels were subsiding, I was off hard meds and beginning to feel like myself. It definitely seemed like the worst of the recovery was over.
Thursday through today has been a whole different story.
I visited the Dr on Thursday (first followup after surgery), and I was just beginning to have some intense pain in my shoulders, back of the neck, and upper to mid back. He didn't find that very unusual, except that the surgical site was still significantly swollen.
By Thursday night, the pain level was over my head and Holly called the Dr for help.
Went back in to the Dr office on Friday, then wound up heading down to the hospital for blood tests and a CT scan to check on the swelling. The Dr sent me home with new meds and told me to monitor my body temperature and the swelling in my neck.
Sunday, I briefly got up to the church to see Michael and Josh baptized. Very exciting morning and I'm glad I made it for that, but that was the extent of my outing. Back to the house and back to bed.
Today, the swelling seems to be subsiding in my neck some which the Dr is excited about ... but still no pain relief for my shoulders, neck, and back ... which is what I will be excited about!
So we are waiting ... patiently, as best we know how. I did get up and walk for a few minutes outside which was nice, atleast to clear my head. Haven't been out of bed a whole lot the last few days b/c pretty much every movement is accompanied by sharp pains. Kinda felt like a pregnant lady on bed rest, except that I'm not a lady and I'm not pregnant!
It has been exciting, but tough, to hear the prayers of my kids. I hear, "God please heal daddy's owies so he can pick me up ... so we can wrestle ... so he can tickle me ... etc." It is exciting seeing our kids call out to God, but it makes me sad to hear them verbalize some of the things they miss doing together with me.
I saw Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark today. Pretty gruesome, but interesting seen toward the end when the Germans open the Ark and God's presence goes out from the Ark and slays them. I'm sure that's not what it would look like, but interesting nonetheless to see man's depication of holiness in the midst of unholiness.
I saw Charlie Wilson's War last night. Holly fell asleep halfway through it. I'd have to do some research to find out about how accurate to history that was, but doesn't seem important enough to do so. Wouldn't watch that one again.
I saw 27 Wedding Dresses two days ago (because I love my bride a whole bunch!) Two words - chick flick.
Please continue to pray with us specifically over these issues:
- swelling would completely go away at the surgical site in my neck.
- any infection in my neck would go away
- pain in my shoulders, neck and upper-mid back would go away
- we have eyes that can see & ears that can hear God during this crazy time
Thanks!!!
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