Reason to smile!

This past Sunday and Monday were two great days.

I don't really know how to quantify what life was like last week, but it wasn't living!

The last two days, pain has subsided considerably & nausea has completely gone away! Man, it is absolutely no fun to walk around all day feeling like your stomach is going to eject at any moment. I've been off the heavy pain pills completely for at least 48 hours, and I think that definitely had something to do with it.

I've still got significant swelling at the surgical site, so please pray for continued patience to stay horizontal and keep ice on this thing!

I go to the Dr on Thursday for the first time. I think it takes 3 months for the fusion to take place, so I've got to continue to take it easy ... but I think I can SLOWLY begin increasing activity soon.

We took a family outing yesterday ... boy, do I cherish opportunities to get out of the house! We drove over to Fort Walton Beach to get snow cones, but the place was closed. So we drove over to a Chic-Fil-A and let the kids play and had dinner. Needless to say, the kids weren't too disappointed.

I took a brief walk last night and saw an incredible sunset. While walking, I was plugged into my ipod and heard this ... "the biggest problem you and I have isn't moral failure ... it is a failure to honor God". If we tell people God doesn't like people that sleep around or do drugs, then people will try to refrain from those behaviors to make them presentable to God. Because we can see behaviors, we often focus on correcting behaviors instead of dealing with matters of the heart. We are in need of a regenerated heart in order to love and honor God. Then, obedience becomes delight instead of duty.

In process

When Holly and I sat in the neurosurgeon's office exactly one week ago and he told me we need to do surgery and that would happen on Monday, I think my initial response was to get myself psyched up for the actual surgery. Over the weekend, I think I was able to get myself prepared for the actual surgery. What I don't think I was able to do was to get myself ready for recovery.

Surgery is over in a few hours, but recovery is a pretty grueling mental & physical process.

My trust and my hope are in Jesus, that somehow through this process, people would see His sufficiency and power displayed even when I am at my weakest.

My plan of attack (and how you can support me in prayer) is this ...

- spiritual rehab.

I've got to keep Jesus center-stage in my head and my heart right now. I'm still having some vision/focus problems so reading isn't really an option right now, but man am I thankful for the infusion of God's Word preached through godly guys that I can pickup on itunes for free! Pray that God talks to me, literally!

I've got to keep our church body updated and around me in prayer. This has been difficult thus far, as it is difficult for me to speak right now and I've had focus problems which make looking at a computer screen tough at times. And, well ... I'm not really up to seeing a bunch of people face to face right now. Either through my own efforts, or through Holly, we will keep you guys up to date on how you can pray for us!

- physical rehab.

I think I've found that I fear being lazy. Resting is different than being lazy, but sometimes your mind can get confused and they feel like the same thing. That makes me antsy, to get out and want to do something that I probably shouldn't ... so please pray for peace and wisdom and rest.

I do want to actively engage in recovery. I got the approval of my doctor to walk around the block (did it twice yesterday). That seems like a pretty small goal, but it felt pretty significant! I think I work well when I have tangible goals set out in front of me ... helps me feel like I'm accomplishing something. Pray that I could accomplish goals without setbacks.

My family and our church family has been great!

Holly is an absolute all-star of a wife. We all already knew that, but she is the bomb.com. My kids are so cool. At different times last night, Kirsten and Isaac both came up to me and prayed for God to heal daddy's owie on his neck. Bella, she can't talk yet, but she did stand up for about 5 sec without holding on to anything this morning, and that was pretty cool as well. My mom had been in town and left yesterday. She was awesome to have around ... both for encouragement and an extra set of hands around the house.

Families within our church are helping out by praying for us (which helps so much!!!) and by providing meals for our family which has been great. I know it is so nice for Holly, who is busy taking care of 3 little ones and me, not to have to worry about cooking dinner all the time.

Thanks for walking beside me through this time. I am, and will always be until Jesus returns, a work in process.

the Fam

Prayer Preparation

Tomorrow is the big day!

Holly and I will be at the Sacred Heart Hospital in SanDestin on Monday @ 6 am to report for duty. I should go in for surgery around 7 am and be out by 11-noon.

God has given us great peace and confidence and trust in Him through this process! We have literally felt people's prayers in a very supernatural way over the last week. May we continue to walk inebriated by God's Spirit ... impacting the way we see life, talk about life, and live life!

We'd like for you to partner up with us in prayer ... b/c we believe this thing is ultimately in God's hands whether God chooses to heal me supernaturally sometime between now and Monday morning or whether God chooses to use the hands of a man that he has created for this very purpose and time.

We want to be clear that our overarching prayer request is that we would trust God and that God would receive much glory and fame through whatever happens because we KNOW that is His will!

Beyond that, here are some specific requests we'd like you to join us in calling out to God ...

- Pray for skill & wisdom for my neurosurgeon, Dr. Arriola, as he performs the surgery.

- Pray that the numbness/tingling/loss of strength I'm experiencing in my abdomen (from my ribcage down to my hip bones) and around to my back would be healed tomorrow. My doctor said those symptoms are not associated with the issue in the neck, but b/c of the severity of the herniated disc it could be causing my whole body to go haywire!

- Pray that the numbness/loss of strength in my hands/arms will be healed tomorrow.

- Pray that the pain in my neck and shoulders will be healed tomorrow, but due to the extent of the compression on my spinal chord, it could take a while for the pain to subside.

- Pray that I will be able to breathe without hindrance after surgery. I had this same procedure done 1 level higher in my neck last year and had breathing problems for 2 days afterward because of the breathing tube and irritation in my esophagus (surgery is through the front of the neck & they have to move stuff around to get to the disc).

- Pray for Holly, for sustaining grace to strengthen her as she takes care of our family over the coming weeks!

- Pray for wisdom in retooling the student ministry over the next few weeks & that we don't lose connections with especially fringe kids.

- Pray for patience in recovery. Actually, pray for me to press into God and that I could hear God well during this recovery time. I spent a lot of time studying and preparing series to teach last year when I was down. It was an incredibly productive time. If I can really connect with God during this time, it could prove to be a great gift!!!

Thanks for your prayers and for being part of our family!

Robbing God's Glory

Pride is an ugly thing.

I see my pride exposed in a desire to hide physical weaknesses. Growing up with a competitive spirit and loving sports, I never wanted to expose injuries or weaknesses to the opposition.

As we grow older, the trend is to continue to privatize our lives ... pulling more and more back from public view ... only wanting to show others our strengths.

In that regard, many of our "relationships" more resemble a perpetual first date or job interview than biblical community!

About two weeks ago, I started to gather a group of people together whom I felt were connected to God and connected to me, to pray alongside our family as I dealt with my latest neck/back issues. As I emailed out invitations, friends and family were very receptive and excited to jump on board with us for this adventure where they can peer into our lives through regular email updates.

One of my good friends from back in Texas wrote this to me last week in response to the invitation I sent out: "I must just say thank you so much for being so open about what's going on with your back. Perhaps it was because it wasn't as severe 5 years ago, but I think you used to keep your daily dealings with chronic pain kinda quiet. You have wholeheartedly served and prayed for so many, and it's our joy to support and pray for you as you deal with your back issues."

As I began to reflect on why I kept quiet about these struggles in the past, this is what I dredged up ... the WHAT IFS ... what if I make this public and God doesn't miraculously heal me ... if God doesn't do something immediate and obvious, would it hinder people's faith?

One of the things that I've learned is that it is not my job to protect God's reputation, just to trust in Him and provide Him opportunities to display His greatness (even by being willing to boast in my weaknesses).

What is at stake here is God's glory, which God intends to be displayed through me and every other believer that walks the face of this earth! That is God's focal purpose for the life of His people!

Growing up I learned that God opposes (stands against) the proud but gives grace to the humble.

I think I'm beginning to realize why. Pride can steal God's glory. What I mean is this ... if I keep quiet and private about my weaknesses and don't give God's people an opportunity to pray and see God move ... then I'm robbing God of an opportunity to show His glory and increase His sway and influence over people's hearts.

Thus, the community experiment in my life was birthed this week. (If you'd like to join us on this journey, let me know).